What are some funny puns?

What are some funny puns?

  A pun is an amusing use of a word that can have two meanings or of different words that sound the same. They are really interesting. See...

• Never eat a samosa, vada, or a chocobar as they have internal feelings.

• A man assaulted me with milk, cheese and buttermilk. How dairy??

• Where do TVs go on vacation??? On remote places.

• My friend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

• R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist.

• The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

• I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

• Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

• Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

• I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

• Don't spell part backwards. It's a trap.

• Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

• I wanted to tell you a historic joke. But it is very old fashioned.

• How did I escape Iraq? Iran.

• I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

• I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter none of them work.

• If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

• Why do the French eat snails? They don't like fast food.

• Justice is a dish best served cold because if it were served warm, it would be justwater.

• Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out.

• A book just fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame.

• What do you have to do to have a party in space? You have to Planet.

• My math teacher called me average. How mean!

• What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law.

• To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

• I recently got a new Korean mechanic but it's hard to understand him - he speaks with a Hyundai Accent!

• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

• I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

• I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.

• My friend tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

• Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.

• What is the longest website domain name? smiles.com because there is a "mile" between the s's!

• How do trees access the internet? They log in.

• I was about to enter in the C wing of my society but it flew off.

• The best time to open a gift is the present.

• I tried to escape the Apple store. I couldn't because there were no Windows.

• Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. You can't tell me that's just a coincidence!

• Cleaning mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.

• I am so poor I can't even pay attention.

• No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

• What do ghosts serve for desert? I Scream.

• Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? She will Let It Go!

• Teachers who take class attendance are absent minded.

• My Sister was crying so I asked her if she was having a cry-sis.

• Cells multiply by dividing.

  Had a good laugh?? Now let others have it and share this post to people whom you want to give a hard laugh. And hey! Know the benefits of laughter here!

Posts before October 2021 have been marked as "Old Posts". Less likely, but they might have out dated or incorrect information, ugly looking bits of code, no labels, etc. Don't get me wrong, many of these posts are top-notch and interesting too.

I thought it would be better not to delete or revamp these posts, even if they suck. The bitter truth is that old works always suck, but I take that as a positive tool to convey that I am growing. Besides there's no better way to showcase my journey without these old, messy, poorly written posts!

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